{"id":177,"date":"2025-02-17T01:13:53","date_gmt":"2025-02-17T06:13:53","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/emrah.domains.skidmore.edu\/?p=177"},"modified":"2025-02-17T01:13:53","modified_gmt":"2025-02-17T06:13:53","slug":"i-wasnt-supposed-to-survive","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/emrahjusufoski.com\/index.php\/i-wasnt-supposed-to-survive\/","title":{"rendered":"I Wasn\u2019t Supposed to Survive"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

A raw, unfiltered account of how life chewed me up and spat me out\u2014and how I came back sharper than a knife.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

There was a time when I truly believed I wouldn\u2019t make it. Not because I lacked strength, but because the world seemed hell-bent on making sure I didn\u2019t. Some people are born into love, into safety, into a life that cradles them gently. I was born into a war zone. Not the kind with bombs and trenches, but the kind where every moment felt like a test of endurance, where the people meant to protect me were the first to draw blood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

At sixteen, I lost everything. Not in a slow, unraveling kind of way, but in one clean, brutal cut. One moment, I had a family. The next, I was a ghost in their eyes. My existence had become inconvenient. My truth had become a stain they refused to wear. They made their choice, and I was left standing in the wreckage, alone, hungry, with nowhere to go and no one coming to save me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

And that\u2019s the part nobody prepares you for\u2014the silence. The way the world doesn\u2019t stop to grieve your loss. How people go on living their lives while you\u2019re trying to figure out how to make it through the next hour. The days blurred together, a cycle of surviving on whatever scraps I could find, sleeping wherever I could disappear. There was no grand moment of resilience, no swelling orchestral soundtrack to mark my survival. There was just me, exhausted, aching, furious\u2014but still here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Because here\u2019s the thing about people like me: we don\u2019t break the way they expect us to. We shatter, yes, but we also sharpen. Every betrayal, every shove into the dirt, every door slammed in my face only carved me into something stronger. They thought I would crumble. Instead, I turned into a blade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But I won\u2019t romanticize it\u2014survival is ugly. It\u2019s clawing your way through nights so cold your bones feel like glass. It\u2019s swallowing your pride and asking for help from people who might not even care. It\u2019s learning to live with the constant ache of knowing the people who were supposed to love you unconditionally put conditions on their love. And yet, despite it all, I refused to disappear.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

I built something out of nothing. I took every insult, every rejection, every whispered \u201cyou\u2019ll never make it\u201d and turned it into fuel. I created my own spaces, found my own people, and wrote my name into the world in ink so permanent they could never erase me.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

For those of you who know this pain\u2014who have felt the sting of being unwanted, discarded, left to fend for yourself\u2014I see you. And I need you to hear this: you are not weak for struggling. You are not a failure because the world made it harder for you. You are still here, and that is an act of defiance in itself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One day, you will look back and realize that the very things meant to break you only sharpened you into something unstoppable. They will try to write you off, but you will carve your name into the walls of history. You weren\u2019t supposed to survive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

But you did. And now? Now, you rise.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

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