Today more than any other day you have something to look forward to: today’s post is the most requested post on my blog. Today I will talk about finding and accepting yourself.
What does finding yourself mean?
Finding yourself means going deeper into the way you feel, think, your beliefs, principles, values and, most importantly, yourself. Finding out who you are, who you love, what you want, what you don’t want, your interests, favorite things, things you don’t like, your standards. Actually finding yourself is like meeting your true side. Not the side you show to others when you go out. Not the side you want others to see. Not even the side you THINK is you (sometimes we fool ourselves into thinking we’re something we want to be or have been told we are). You are not your mask.
To give an example; Marcos is a 13 year old boy. Marcos likes to listen to ballads. He is withdrawn and calm. He doesn’t like fighting, he’s conflict-averse. He prefers to wear something baggy or other oversized clothes. He wants to have curly hair.
But he doesn’t do any of this in public. In most cases, he knows he will be condemned by his peers but also by other people in his environment. So he has regularly brushed and trimmed hair. He wears clothes that are slim-fitting and listens to fast rap songs. He acts like he’s tough and could withstand any physical fight. Like others do. It isn’t just so Marcos can seem cool or fit in, it’s a survival tactic. He doesn’t want to be beat up and he doesn’t want to seem different and draw attention to him.
Finding yourself means rejecting this. Not right now when you can’t because you may not be safe if you do and you may face consequences that are worse than the ones you face when you aren’t yourself. But rather when you can, don’t judge yourself or rush yourself. The journey to finding yourself takes time and timing. After high school, after middle school, after whenever you feel like you’re safe and ready for discovery – that is the right timing for you. Time itself is simply the amount of time it takes to actually find yourself. You might need months or years. But you will find yourself.
Finding yourself like I said above is rejecting the things society has taught you to want and wanting the things society has taught you to reject. Now of course there are some things that are acceptable in society that you will still love and that’s fine, but there are a lot of things that in your environment you couldn’t explore about yourself that there is no reason you shouldn’t explore unless it hurts others or you.
How to find yourself?
When you understand what finding yourself means, the next step is to find yourself. It can seem incredibly hard to find yourself. It can seem overwhelming to have that freedom, to reject the strain society puts on some of us.
There are many clichés that I could tell you on how to find yourself, instead of that I will tell you how I found myself.
First step, I cleaned my phone and computer, not physically of course, I cleaned up the apps, the software, the interface, all of that. I started small so to speak, and as well all know from small changes come larger changes. You can keep going with bigger and bigger changes until you’ve reinvented yourself into a truer, realer version of who you are.
- The photos I don’t need anymore (especially all the chat screenshots or all the photos I had that I felt could hurt someone or were just too catty to keep);
- All the contacts that changed numbers or I wasn’t talking with anymore, Skype, Teams, anything;
- All the apps and downloaded content I don’t use anymore;
- I even went through my YouTube channel subscriptions and who I followed on Instagram, Facebook and other social media
Cleaning your phone/desktop has two benefits:
- You have more storage in your phone/desktop;
- You have more storage in your brain;
At a time when we’re so connected to our phones and our computer desktops, clearing them up will go a long way to clear our minds as well, to make us feel, at least for the short time, prepared and ready for something new.
Second step, I started meditating.
Starting to meditate was the best decision I have ever made in my life. It helps me so much with making decisions, choosing what’s right and what’s not, finding out other stuff. And each day I meditate I find myself more and more. Here, I will leave my favorite websites, videos and apps which I use for meditating.
Third step, I created my own routine.
It can look like this:
- Set your wake up and sleep time;
- Breakfast, snack, lunch and dinner time;
- Training time (exercise, both mental and physical, maybe take up chess and take up jogging, one for mental strength and one for physical);
- Starting diaries and planners;
What does accepting yourself mean?
It means knowing who you actually are, and the first step to improving yourself is knowing yourself. The first step to becoming a successful person is knowing who you are so you know what your standards are. If you don’t have standards for success, how can you ever be successful?
It’s not just about success. Sometimes it’s simply about being happy. About being confident in who you are and what you’ve achieved.
WHEN YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, YOU HAVE WON THE BIGGEST GAME, A GAME CALLED LIFE.